After all the controversy ADHM is finally here. And Karan Johar creates another cliche ridden drama about rich people. His previous film, Student of the year was how rich kids go to school. ADHM is what these rich kids do as adults. *Spoilers ahead*
The plot is the usual. A story of unrequited love shown in the most emotionless way possible. Ayan (Ranbir Kapoor) is a filthy rich spoilt baby. He is in London doing his MBA.The only reference to him doing an MBA is a less than 5 second scene where he is shown in a lecture room. The rest of the time he is on vacation in Paris, Lucknow ,Vienna and everywhere else. But Ayan wants to be a singer. (Yes, major throwback to Rockstar) So one day he meets Alizeh Khan (Anushka Sharma) in a club. Alizeh calls for him and they start dancing together, then they randomly start kissing and making out together. And then they remember 'Ohh we have to introduce ourselves' (Right! so open minded know?) Anyway they start chatting and Ayan says he is splurging his dad's assets in London. Alizeh is ummm, she's just there. She's supposedly the youngest of four daughters but has never felt the love that the youngest child gets, (Really?) so she is living on her own in London. And doing what? Who is funding her? Nobody knows.
Both these bored people are already in relationships. (Great!) Alizeh is dating a doctor her dad roped in for her. But she is still not over her ex, Ali (Fawad Khan) Ayan is with Lisa (Lisa Haydon) I think she was supposed to be like the comedian in the movie. Well, I just felt sorry for her. So these 'oh so cool' people decide to go on a double date, where the girls insult each other and throw red wine (So Hollywood-ish know?) They meet again for a dance sequence in a club. (The breakup song) Suddenly Ayan and Alizeh find their respective partners making out in the loo. (This is Karma!) Ayan is so heart-broken. (I mean how dare they do the exact same thing Alizeh and I did last week? Bloody copy cats!) Alizeh brings about the greatest revelation to him and tells him that he is not in love with Lisa. And to be a real singer he needs to feel real heart-break.(Rockstar again?) With all the unwanted crying and fake heart break the two decide to go to Paris for a vacation in Ayan's private jet. They book a single room because of budget issues (Yeah?) The only thing these two can do in life is go to clubs, sing, dance and quote various lines from KJo's previous movies. They literally did nothing else in the film. All this while Alizeh is clearly trying to friendzone Ayan. But Ayan is relentless he keeps trying to pop out of his friendzone. Why can't you just stay there man? Huh? why ? why?
Anyway one night whilst they are getting drunk in a club Alizeh suddenly spots her ex. In comes (Ali) Fawad Khan. Wait, you actually tried to ban this movie because of this guy ? Oh Man! This guy is like the best thing in the movie. I mean not his role or anything which is actually quiet non-existent,(Don't know what the fuss was about) but just him. He is so hot.(Totally crushing on him). So Alizeh decides to dump Ayan, ooops, no...friend dump Ayan and go with Ali. (I don't blame her) Days pass and Alizeh is getting married to Ali in Lucknow. Okay fly London to Lucknow. (What happened to your MBA bro?) Alizeh tells Ayan he must come as her parents disowned her and she has nobody else.Okay, then how did you manage a Manish Malhotra lehanga with those gorgeous kundan jewelry? How? How did you manage to pull off the big fat Indian wedding? Who is funding you child? Now, Ayan being the spoilt cry baby starts whining about his feelings, this time right before her wedding. Dude she just wants to be friends. Leave her alone know? So then, Ayan pops the middle finger at Alizeh and leaves. (So cool) He cries on the roads and all the way to the airport. But you feel nothing. Just the background music being slow and mushy.
At the airport he meets Saba ( Aishwarya Rai Bachan) He acts like a creep and a complete retard. But Saba being a Urudu speaking poetess and all, understands his heart-break (now its supposed to be a real one) and gives him her number. Fast forward 3 months and Ayan is in Vienna to visit Saba. He learns she is a sexy divorcee with a great wardrobe, who wants a no-strings attached relationship. And they have a damn good one at that! Their romance gave me nightmares. Eventually Saba introduces Ayan to her ex-husband. And who do you think that is? SRK of course. This is KJo we are talking about , he needs to have stars in cameo roles (Very pointless) SRK comes in and says some recited lines with no expressions and no feelings. He tells Ayan that one sided love is the best feeling in the world. ( Haha. Okay)
Ayan is enlightened by Buddha and finally calls Alizeh over for dinner at Saba's appartment. Oh and she is in Vienna too now. Saba serves wine and cheese! And then they have bread and soup. (Really? This is too much even for Bollywood. Where is my bhel puri and dhal chawal?) Finally Saba dumps Ayan as she realises he still loves Alizeh and she just might be developing feelings for him. Okay bye Ash.
Fast forward two years and Ayan has become a famous singer due to all the fake heart-breaks. He eventually finds out that Alizeh is single again and decides that now his chance has arrived. But no one knows where she is. (No fb, no whatsapp uh?) Anyway Ayan tracks her down even though she asked him to stay away. He finds her looking like Amitabh Bhachan in Paa . And Karan adds another unwanted element into the story. Alizeh has cancer. 4th stage. Why can't she have like kidney failure or heart attack. I would have died of heart attack if I had an Ayan in my life. Why does it always have to be cancer? Anyway Ayan still tries to force himself on her. (She has cancer dude. Have some compassion!) Finally after some breaking and throwing and Alizeh storming off , Ayan realises he has to behave and he probably can only be friends with her. (We believe him because it's been 3 hours and we have to go home) So anyway the movie comes to a painful end, almost like stage 4 cancer.
Now, the only thing good about the movie was the base story line. But the way Karan tried to convey this message was a huge disaster. I just can't have movies that are this filmy. Nothing was realistic. From Ash's figure to the dance clubs to the lack of other supporting characters in the movie. Karan just moved from his typical Mumbai based fancy houses across the Arabian Sea and decided he will have some chic lofts in Paris and London instead. The film lacks logic.And worse it lacks love, friendship and any kind of feeling. The songs were great though. They are on repeat on my playlist now. Apart from that I can't give you any reason to watch this film. Just don't waste your time.
P.S I wish they had actually banned this film. Not for Fawad Khan but for everyone else in the film, especially Karan Johar.
